how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
