fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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