So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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