you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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