can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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