i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
