we're chasing vodka with high fives
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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