So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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