I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
