she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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