Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
