they need to just BURY HIM!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
