dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
