i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
