Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm getting married
To pizza
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
