so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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