I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
