As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
