I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you traded sex for a burrito?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
