I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
