Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
