remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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