Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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