I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
