just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
