I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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