After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it was like eating out sand paper
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
