Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
