shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
