well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
