I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
