Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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