ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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