No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
