he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
