I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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