Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
