He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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