This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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