This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
