I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
