"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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