did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
