Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
