o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
