Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When did angry sex become our thing?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
