wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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