Porn is love you can see.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
