My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
