I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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