pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He kissed a someone with a penis
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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