Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
