I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
