Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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