So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We left an ass print on the piano.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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