i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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