Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
