eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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