Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
