need another drink. this is the easiest way
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
