Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
