you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
