Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
