He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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